


there is no man of yesterday

by havocthecat



Category: The Mummy Series (Movie)
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, F/M, Humor, It's all Jonathan's fault., Why did it have to be mummies?, Yuletide, challenge:Yuletide 2007
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-05 03:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world through Jonathan's eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there is no man of yesterday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilyayl](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lilyayl).



> Originally posted to [Yuletide 2007](http://yuletidetreasure.org/archive/47/thereis.html).

"Oh, bloody hell," says Jonathan, his face twisting in disgust as he stumbles into the room. "Do you two ever do anything but make kissy-faces at each other these days? Whatever happened to a proper courtship?"

Evie and Rick pull apart, but Evie's past her days of being subdued by her big brother catching her in scandalous behavior ended _years_ ago, and Rick's just laughing. Neither of them scoots to the opposite ends of the couch, and Jonathan just waves his hand at them. It's not worth saying anything, not really, but he feels the need to make a token protest. Just to be brotherly about it all.

"I think that was blown out the window from the start, Jonathan," says Rick dryly.

Evie covers her mouth and tries to maintain a proper decorum, but it all falls apart into giggles rather quickly when she meets Rick's eyes. "Don't be such a spoilsport," she says. "Rick and I _are_ engaged, after all."

"Right, right, I forgot, what with the whole 'living mummies' and 'world almost ending' thing," says Jonathan. He leans one-handed against the back of the sofa and points thoughtfully at Evie. "Tell me again how you two had time to fall in love in the midst of all that running about and almost getting killed, will you?"

"You were there for all of it," says Rick.

"Well, yes, but I was a bit too terrified for my life at the time to be worried about protecting my sister's increasingly dubious virtue!" Jonathan realizes he's gone a bit too far there as Evie's eyes narrow at him, so he puts his hands up and backs away. "Not that I have a problem with that! God knows, Evie, you're perfectly capable of taking care of your own virtue."

"That's right, Jonathan," she says, standing up and crossing her arms to glare at him.

Jonathan smiles, because he really _is_ happy for her. "I'm just joshing with you, love," he says. His jaded, man-about-town image - the one he's never had around Evie - is going to take a hit. "You know all I want is for you to be happy, right?"

Evie's a sucker for that line, probably because she knows Jonathan means it, so she smiles softly and glances down at Rick. "I know," she says. "And I really am happy."

***

"Are you happy now?" yells Jonathan. He's running for his life, clutching a piece of gold sculpture inlaid with jade to his chest. Evie's right beside him, and Rick is two steps ahead of them both. "We're going to die in a Peruvian temple, and it's _all your fault_!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" says Evie. She stops and leans one hand against the wall as she bends over and gasps for breath. Rick pivots, comes back and past the two of them. "We're not going to die! All we have to do is find where the sacred statue goes, return it, and then all the mummies go back to their resting places."

Jonathan winces as Rick draws two guns and starts firing at the Incan mummy lumbering toward them. "She's right, we're not gonna die," says Rick dryly. The mummy staggers back, but Jonathan can see another one right behind it. "Though things _are_ looking a bit hairy."

"Why does it always have to be mummies?" asks Jonathan plaintively. "I mean, you'd think that bloody South America wouldn't have any bloody mummies!"

" _You're_ the one who bought the sacred figurine out of the market," says Evie. "We never would've been involved except for that. The local priestess said they were perfectly capable of solving the problem on their own, but no, you had to go and curse us!"

She's recovering now, standing up straight, but Rick runs by again and grabs Evie's arm. "Time to run again!" he says, tugging Evie along behind him.

Jonathan's off like a flash. He glances over his shoulder, and there are at least three more dead Incan rulers after them. " _I_ got us into this?" asks Jonathan. "You're the one who started insisting we compare burial practices! Who accidentally desecrated the sacred, heretofore undiscovered grave of Emperor Pachacuti because she just _had_ to mispronounce some Quechua _right_ over his sarcophagus? Who else just _happened_ to have the sacred artifact that will put things right if we get it to the altar in the center of the temple before the vernal equinox?"

"You think _I'm_ to blame? Why, I--" starts Evie.

Rick rolls his eyes as he turns, drops his pistols, and pulls a shotgun from God-knows-where to fire at the mummies again. Evie and Jonathan dive out of the way, and Jonathan groans, because his shoulder ended up hitting the stone wall of the temple so that the figurine didn't.

"I don't care who's to blame," he says, and Jonathan's fairly certain he remembers that teeth-gritting tone from when they first met in Egypt. "Let's just get to the goddamn temple altar and fix it!"

"Right," says Jonathan.

"I hate conquistadors," mutters Evie. She and Jonathan glance at each other as they scramble upright. "The Incans never would've cursed the burial grounds if it weren't for Pizarro and his _appalling_ destruction of local artifacts."

"I couldn't agree more, old mum," says Jonathan fervently.

"Not to mention it makes it bloody difficult to get any decent archeological research done around here," says Evie.

No point in saying anything now. Evie's on a tear, and besides, Jonathan's about out of breath.

***

"Here we are, back in Egypt again." Jonathan tosses his duffel on a nearby chair and flops onto the bed on his back. "The dry air, the appalling lack of British amenities, and the scorpions. How I've missed it."

He really has. He and Evie have spent half their lives in Egypt. Half of it was visiting with mum's family, and the other half was spent on digs with mum and dad. But he's going to pretend he's not at _all_ fond of the place. It's the principle of the thing, after all.

The door adjoining the suite next to Jonathan's slams open. Rick is standing there, and he's a little irritated-looking. So, par for the course for Rick. "Jonathan, why are you here? This is my honeymoon. To which you were specifically _not invited_."

"Oh, you know," says Jonathan. He loosens his tie and stared up at the plaster ceiling of his hotel room. The deluxe suite really is rather pretty. "I thought it was time to visit dear ol' Uncle Mahmoud. Been a while since I've seen the Egyptian half of the family."

"It's been a week since the wedding!" snaps Evie. She comes to stand in the doorway, hands on her hips. "Uncle Mahmoud was there, as was the entire rest of the family, and as I distinctly recall, he wasn't very pleased with you."

"I apologized for spilling punch on his suit!" exclaims Jonathan. He flaps his hand lazily at Evie and Rick. "Never mind me, you two go and do what honeymooners do. I'll just wait right here until I get up the energy to check out the new exhibits in Cairo."

The front door of Jonathan's suite slams open, and Ardeth Bey stands there, slightly out of breath, but still looking as dashing as ever. Jonathan never looks as dashing as Ardeth and Rick ever do, but he fancies he's got his own roguish sort of charm, so it doesn't bother him.

"Ardeth!" Evie's gaping.

Rick starts to look worried. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

Ardeth beams at Evie and Rick, but in a very dignified manner. Really, Jonathan wonders if the man is ever _un_ dignified. "Congratulations on your wedding, O'Connell."

" _Thank_ you," says Evie. Jonathan knows she always remembers the proper thing to do, even if she ignores it half the time. "But we didn't expect to see you here. Either."

Jonathan pretends to be nonchalant under Evie's glare. "So what _are_ you doing here, old chap?"

"Do you remember the artifact you bought when you were last in Egypt?" Ardeth asks him.

Jonathan sits up. Ardeth's needs something from _him_? That's bloody unusual; Rick and Evie are more the heroic types. "That mummified eyeball dealie? The one the chap I bought it from told me was the real deal? The wadjet? The actual Eye of Horus that Set gouged out during their little dynastic struggle?"

"I think we all know what the wadjet is, Jonathan," says Evie pertly. Her hands are still on her hips, but she's slightly less mad, and certainly more curious than before. A mystery gets her every time.

Rick raises one hand, as if he's waiting for the instructor to rap him on the knuckles for an infraction. "Uh, I didn't."

"Bloody messy story," says Jonathan. "Starts out with castration and dismemberment, and it only gets messier from there."

"You must have Evelyn tell you the tale some time," says Ardeth. He seems impatient about solmething. "Jonathan, tell me this: Do you still possess the wadjet?"

"Brought it in my suitcase," says Jonathan, sitting up and frowning puzzledly at them. "Thought I might trade it in the market for something a little more fun."

"We must take it and leave for Luxor at once!" says Ardeth. "The fate of the world is at stake!"

"Oh, hell." Jonathan's face twists. "Not again."

"You enjoy," says Rick, hooking an arm around Evie's waist and dragging her back into their suite as she protested loudly. "Save the world. We'll be on our honeymoon."

 


End file.
